Berry’s Laws of the Universe
After a lifetime of careful thought and exhaustive study, I have derived a number of irrefutable Laws of the Universe. Live by these and your life will be perfect.
Law #1: Nothing will ever go wrong. Ever.
Law #2: If something is carried to an extreme, there will never ever be a backlash. Ever.
Law #3: If someone disagrees with you, just keep repeating the same argument over and over until they agree with you. This always works.
Law #4: Nobody ever got sick from eating under-cooked chicken. Or eggs. Or pork.
Law #5: If there is black ice on the pavement, that’s the best time to go for a walk.
Law #7: There is no Law #6
Law #8: It is better to get a good night’s sleep before a test than to study for it.
Law #9: Nothing bad can possibly happen if robots are in charge of everything.
Law #10: If you’re driving a train toward a curve at high speed, don’t slow down; centrifugal force will keep you on the track. (or maybe it’s centripetal force…I always mix those up).
Law #11: I’m sure it’s perfectly safe.